acid tongue & love

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So help me God, make me a better person.

Challenges are necessary for growth and can be, all consuming too.

My lessons are coming thick and fast.

I look at her and my heart feels heavy.

I can see her physical body slowing down and her struggle is undeniable.

I can feel her anger, her bitterness and her absolute mistrust.

I can feel her self rejection, her self loathing and her inability to say sorry.

Saying sorry would surely mean death-death of denial.

She offloads her pain and misgivings, on those around her often and then attempts to have them believe that they are the cause of her pain.

The wounded Mata.

Turn your wounds into wisdom. Wise words. Life lessons. Life quotes.  Inspiration. Inspirational. Inspirational sayings. Inspirational quotes.  Positive thinking. Positive quote. Positive attitude. Positive emotion.  Stay positive. Experience. The past ...
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Our learning roles, now reversed-I play the adult and she plays the small child once again (you treat me like I am a 2 year old) needy, self-rejecting and in her words, suppressed.

Last night we played her ‘survival technique’ game-“If it wasn’t for me!”

I know-I really do know mum and I’m truly grateful.

Letting Go of the Drama Triangle | Circles USA
Stephen Karpman Drama Triangle

I have used this example on a previous post some time ago and I think it’s worth sharing again.

What role/roles do you play within your life? What role do you identify with most?

I play them all and to hold myself accountable, I switch between Rescuer and Victim.

Rescuer being my lead role and victim, an easy safe role to settle into.

Mother play’s the Victim role and of course the Persecutor with her acid tongue and relentless bitterness. Underneath that heavy brash armor is a woman of great love, strength and resilience, a survivor of life’s harsh lesson’s and a mother.

My mother.

My teacher.

Jeez… she is definitely presenting me with heavy duty challenges on a daily basis that require patience, tolerance and most of all loving forgiveness.

I’m working on it.

Namaste.

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©All Rights Reserved – The boy in the chip shop 2019-20

Perfect Just The Way You Are

You can’t wait for the world to be equal to start feeling seen, you have to find the tools within to find your voiceMichelle Obama

I am a real warrior in the fight for equality.

My belief is that we all have a right to be here and by that I mean, however you show up in this world, what ever race, religious belief, disability or sexual orientation, you belong.

We all matter.

I was born into a family full of conflict and almost suffocated by the religious beliefs of my parents, which in their entirety, were incredibly mismatched.

My Father was baptized a Methodist-a good Christian man. He hated the whole of the Japanese race, believing that they should be wiped out from the earth completely. Thankfully, his attempts to instill the same belief’s into us, his children, didn’t work.

It isn’t something that any one of us could even hold within our hearts.

Yet he was a good Christian man, wasn’t he?

My Mother who follows the Catholic religion, taught us to believe that if you aren’t christened and when it’s your time to depart this world, you won’t be allowed into Heaven.

I can not even fathom that statement out?

Like it’s a special club for special people?

Am I not special?

Are you not special?

Are we not made in the likeness of God?

Is God not love?

None of my children are christened.

What does that actually mean?

Well what it mean’s for me is, that we didn’t pay out heaps of money to have a christening party that was laden with special gifts from special people who probably never really had any kind of understanding in the whole concept of being christened.

Does that mean that I am a non believer?

Absolutely not and what I will say is that my beliefs have no conditions attached to them and that’s my choice too.

I was christened on a hospital ward when I was born because my mother thought that I was going to die and as she told me years later, she was terrified that if the priest wasn’t called to perform the ceremony, I wouldn’t get my special place with God.

Please forgive me if I offend you in anyway because it isn’t my intention and I really don’t believe that God would banish any child at all or for any reason.

Can you see how confusing it may be for a child to establish his or her own sense of self?

We all have a right to voice our own opinions, beliefs and question the world around us. There are times, during a session, I gently push boundaries with my client in order to allow them to open up to the possibility of new and other ways of thinking.

Not forcibly, just gently-an offering to look a little deeper into themselves and especially the young people who all too often seem to be afraid to step into their own power through fear of rejection.

We have no right to condition our children and they have a right to feel free to express themselves, be themselves, live life on their terms.

You may think it’s easier to keep quiet, reserved or even accept the things that you no longer want to accept through fear of judgement.

It really isn’t-it dulls your empowerment.

Have courage, become who you want to be, who you already are… and always have been deep within you.

At the end of the day, my hope is that we all want our children to be seen, feel worthy, know that they matter and I want that for you and for me too.

You matter and you are so worthy of free choice, the values that you hold and the right to feel equal to your fellow human beings.

And of course, you are not equal at all… you are all UNIQUE.

©All Rights Reserved – The boy in the chip shop 2019-20

Determination & Love

41 days of being locked down and today is my official moving to France day.

Only we won’t be going anywhere.

Strangely enough, I don’t feel gutted or upset, worried or even the slightest bit stressed out about it! I am pretty much chilled, calm and collected.

It will happen when the time is right.

So much has changed for me on a personal level over the past few weeks and all of the previous and incessant worry that plagued me on a daily basis, seems to have dissipated.

I feel blessed and extremely grateful.

I really appreciate everyone who have taken the time to read my blog and some of you have gone on to follow it too. Feeling acknowledged, when in a healing process, is incredible.

Thank you.

The death toll in the UK has now risen to over 26,000-just devastating.

I will continually send my love and prayers to a struggling world and the families who have lost so much.

Often, people tend to focus on the terribly sad news and may miss the opportunity to hear some uplifting stories amidst this crisis.

One such story that has had the nation overwhelmed with gratitude and love is that of Captain Thomas Moore whom at aged 99, walked laps around his garden to raise money for our NHS service.

Currently, he has raised more than 30 million pounds.

Today is his birthday.

Just stop and think about that for a moment;

What a wonderful man.

What an amazing story of determination.

What an inspiration.

Against all odds, this man made a powerful decision to do something that would make a difference to the lives of many people, then he stepped up to the challenge with utter determination and achieved an unbelievable outcome.

A powerful reminder for us all.

DECISION

ACTION

RESULTS

Captain Moore is a perfect example of how you can achieve anything that you desire if you put the required amount of effort into achieving, whatever it is that you truly want for your life. No matter what age, race or gender you are.

Raise your standards.

It’s all there for the taking.

Happy birthday Captain Thomas Moore we thank you greatly for standing up and showing us the way.

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©All Rights Reserved – The boy in the chip shop 2019-20