You Belong – You Are Beautiful

Day 73 of this way of living in a different space and as we welcome the arrival of the month of June, let’s remind ourselves that this day marks a brand new beginning, full of opportunity, possibility and even deeper connection.

It’s been a long and interesting journey for me both personally and also for my clients who have not only had the courage to honor themselves with their commitment to change but also to embrace the whole online process.

I am truly grateful.

For me personally, it’s been a time to re-charge, reflect, trust and just allow life to unfold naturally without limitations.

What about you?

Have you had any life shifts, wake up calls, learning’s?

So much has changed, on so many levels and I wonder if you have noticed the profound underlying messages that you have been called to respond to within your life, in light of the recent events?

I sat in the garden with my dear friend yesterday (socially distancing) and we found ourselves deep in discussion about us as women, why we are here, how we have prevented ourselves from reaching our potential and how we have both self sabotaged for years.

Our conversations always go that extra mile, a little deeper each time, leaning into the power of now and an all knowing powerful force that surrounds us, offering the opportunity to grow and evolve.

So often we have blatantly ignored the message even though we accept that its there, right for the taking and we’ve run in the opposite direction, afraid of our own success.

Fear will eat you alive if you allow it.

I have always been fascinated by the mind-body connection and how we show up in this world at any given time. I don’t ever see black and white, I see an array of color that maybe you are unable to see right now, when it comes to who you are and what’s possible for you.

I believe in you, what ever your past looks like, how ever you show up right now in life. You are so important and maybe nobody has told you that lately but you are.

You have a purpose just like me and every other living thing on this planet.

We are here to improve the state of the world and to have the courage to move through fear and ask for what we want.

Did you hear that?

What you want… not what other people want for you, or think of you or expect of you.

Fight for yourself you are worth it.

You are alive.

You are beautiful.

Don’t conform… be you.

So start now, right where you are.

Acknowledge your past-yes it happened, it really did and there is no denying that, but understand this, it happened for you, not to you. You may be reading that statement and think what a crock of shit… and yes, it took time for me to really understand that concept and embrace the idea. I now understand it and know so very deeply that the pain I went through as a child happened for me to grow to learn, to love more deeply and for me to be able to show others the way out of that sometimes overwhelming and dark place.

I’ve been there… this isn’t text book stuff this is real life.

I also know that I have written this somewhere before in my blog and this is what came up for me to write this morning. I’m trusting my gut that someone out there who reads this today, needs to hear it so if I am sounding like a broken record, then so be it.

YOU CAN CHANGE AND LIFE CAN BE WHAT YOU WANT IT TO BE – but you have to take action, do something about it.

If you want something, then step aside from all of that painful past and surrender to new ideas and new beliefs about what is always and in all ways… ready and waiting for you

Pay attention to the signs all around because you will only learn, when you pay attention.

Draw that line _____________________________________

It’s done…

Its a new day and I am so grateful that you and I are both here to Grace this world with us being who we are, just as we are, a delight, an expression, a gift to be unravelled one day at a time.

Lets not waste it.

And to you my dear friend, there’s still time x

Namaste

 ©All Rights Reserved – The boy in the chip shop 2019-20

Into The Unknown

For some, this may be an uncomfortable thing to do.

I’m in that place right now having absolutely no idea of what’s happening next and in the past, I would have certainly been in a state of inner turmoil by now.

Day 71 of a different way of living.

I feel peaceful.

I’m taking care of me.

What does it mean to surrender?

It means to stop resisting.

Are you resisting?

Do you feel lost or stuck angry or frustrated?

What would it take for you to surrender and just let go?

There are signs all around you that are missed when you are so emotionally restrained and by freeing yourself from all of that unnecessary baggage, you will begin to see clearly.

Sit quietly, close your eyes and get in touch with your inner knowing. Ask the questions and notice the response.

Have a pen and pad by your side so you can write down any inspirational thoughts that come up.

Have you ever wondered why you can hear your thoughts? How is that even possible?

Sounds a little crazy right?

I love crazy…

I love weird and wonderful…

I love pushing boundaries with ideas…

Nothing is impossible.

©All Rights Reserved – The boy in the chip shop 2019-20

Allowing Life to Unfold Graciously

It’s day 55 of lock down and I wonder how people are doing?

I mean, really doing?

It seems to be the new way of living now and for me, acceptance was key.

I no longer resist in any way and I’m allowing life to unfold graciously.

I am so very grateful for this present moment-all is okay.

Even though I have no idea what’s next for us as a family and what our future looks like, it feels so good and exciting, because its such a new feeling for me and something that I’ve been teaching others, how to do for years-I just didn’t walk my talk.

Until now.

Yarmouth Isle of Wight May 2020

I’m not worried at all.

I feel alive and so accepting of myself.

So today I encourage you all where ever you may be right now in this bizarre and beautiful world;

to stop and remind yourself that you have a purpose

a right to belong

a story to tell

a love to be shared

and most of all I want you to know that it’s okay to love and accept yourself

just as you are

what ever happened in your past

all the mistakes that you think, you’ve made

the wrong paths that you think, you may have taken

anything that you berate and punish yourself for…

NONE OF IT MATTERS NOW

don’t drag all of that stuff forward in life with you, it makes no sense at all

let it go

liberate yourself

honor yourself with love and nourishment, acceptance and forgiveness.

YOU are perfect just the way you are and don’t be afraid to allow yourself to dream because dreaming is a wonderful thing and can bring fourth all that you desire if;

YOU JUST GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY

Much love to you all and thank you so much for reading The boy in the chip shop because everyone of you, are a part of my healing journey.

Namaste

©All Rights Reserved – The boy in the chip shop 2019-20

A Simple Lesson

My very first thought of the day early this morning and before I even opened my eyes was this;

I don’t punish myself-I let myself down.

You may be thinking that they are the same thing but for me they are very different and a revelation.

I have asked myself the same two question’s over and over-why do I continuously punish myself and what did I do that was so wrong?

My mentor once said to me;

“Maybe you are asking the wrong questions?”

For some reason, I couldn’t process that statement even though it’s pretty simple and what I now understand is, that I didn’t hear it… I mean,

I really didn’t hear it.

When you are ready, you will learn the lesson.

Pinterest

Stay open and welcome this new day and all that is on offer for you to learn.

Namaste

 ©All Rights Reserved – The boy in the chip shop 2019-20

Excuses

Dr Wayne Dyer died on the 29th of August 2015.

He was 75.

Known as the father of motivation, Wayne Dyer was a man who impacted my life greatly and I spent many years yearning to attend one of his seminars.

The Christmas before he passed away, my dear friend Katie surprised me with a ticket to see him in London, the following September.

He died two weeks before his event.

Are there things in your life that you’ve spent years wanting to do and haven’t done them yet, because there is always some sort of reason why you can’t?

Are there people in your life that you no longer see, yet wish you were still connected?

Do you have dreams that you have put on hold because of one reason or another?

I can answer yes to all of the above.

The seminar went a head, only now it was a dedication to his life rather than hearing this wonderful man speak and as I sat in the audience, I can remember asking myself what the lesson was in this situation, that I needed to learn?

I felt desperately sad that I had not made it in time, to see Wayne Dyer and that I’d wasted so many years of my life making excuses

When I have enough money, when the kids are older, when I’m slimmer, when I’m successful, when this and when that and so on…

How many excuses have you made over the years when it comes to your hopes, desires, your future dreams?

I recognize the beautiful part of my being, that was a serial excuse maker and she learn’t from the very best.

Her parents!

Don’t be like me and waste time with vacant excuses because this present time is all that matters, right HERE AND NOW.

Write that list, make plans for your future-dream… and dream BIG.

The teachings of Wayne Dyer will always be available to whom ever shall seek them and in his own words;

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Here is the Excuses Begone audio book which is not the best quality but still a brilliant listen.

Now is your time.

©All Rights Reserved – The boy in the chip shop 2019-20

Task 7 – Daily Challenge

Both Kate and I enjoy our daily lock down challenge.

We are similar in may ways and often find it difficult to create something freely without a whole load of critical self judgement and for that, I am really proud of our joint effort and commitment.

It has enabled us both to have an escape route out of our comfort zone.

Why don’t you, try it with a friend or two or even (Kate might holler at me for this) join in with us – eek!!!!

It could be – The Collective Covid Lock Down Daily Challenge.

Think of a word, poem or idea for each other and then send it by text, messenger or email, the night before or early on the morning of the challenge. There is absolutely no pressure to get it done in a day and we don’t move on until we have both completed the immediate task.

Its just for fun and keep’s our mental health wealthy with ideas and motivation.

Yesterday, we came up with the exact same words for task 7 which was interesting-great minds think alike.

I Am

I am the light
that lights the day
the melodic song
of the morning
the cooling breath
of a gentle breeze
the essence of
boundless love
I am the darkness
in the night
the silence and 
the sorrow
the innocence
the dreamer
the hero in
the story
I am the space
between each thought
the whisper in
the stillness
the splendor
the serenade
in moments
of surrender
I am my light
I light my way
my truth is
my expression
my joy, my love
in gratitude
shall greet you
in abundance

I Am

Isle of Wight Artist Katie Hobbs 2020

I hope that you are enjoying your day best you can.

Stay safe.

©All Rights Reserved – The boy in the chip shop 2019-20

What story do you tell yourself?

At what point in your life did you start putting limitations on yourself?

Can you remember?

My first memory of limiting myself was around the age of four, believing that I couldn’t dance as well as another child and I remember having a bad feeling in my tummy.

Four years old.

How did I even know or understand how to feel that kind of emotion?

In the first years of our lives, our mind is like a sponge and it soaks up tall of the beliefs and values of our main caregivers who begin to sculpt us in one way or another.

If you are telling yourself stories that limit you in any kind of way then you might be interested to know that those stories, might not even belong to you!

Think about that for a minute!

What stories have you told yourself over and over again throughout your life?

Do they limit you or expand you?

The stories that I’ve told myself continuously, have held me back from living life fully and have caused a great deal of sadness for a long time;

I am ashamed of myself, I’m not good enough, I hate myself, I should know better, why didn’t I do better, I could have been, I should have been. I don’t deserve…

And I am reminded of the stories that both of my parents quite possibly told themselves –

I am ashamed of myself, I am not worthy enough, I hate myself, I don’t deserve to be loved, I don’t deserve to live…

and

I am so ashamed of myself, I am not lovable, I am not good enough, I deserve this, I can’t leave, I can’t change it, I have to accept it…

Do you see any underlying familiar patterns?

pinterest.com

See how it works?

My expectations for my own life were embellished with my parents self sabotaging stories and beliefs.

They knew no better.

They did their best.

It doesn’t have to be that way and when you wake up to the idea that you have the choice to change your story, no matter where you are currently in your life, then you will know and understand fully that your story will either hold you back or propel you forward.

Embrace who you are and from this moment onward’s, change your story if it doesn’t serve you any longer.

How empowering for you to know that maybe you’ve been living your life from somebody else’s perspective and now you can CHANGE it to what ever you desire.

In gratitude.

©All Rights Reserved – The boy in the chip shop 2019-20

It’s a new week a new Beginning

“Your real job is to figure out as soon as possible what that is, who you are mean’t to be and begin to honor your calling in the best possible way.” Oprah Winfrey

Monday’s always signify to me that I can start again.

A new week, a new beginning.

So how do we know and understand what our purpose in this life is and are you really even interested in finding out?

I have asked this question to myself for many, many years and ended up sending myself around on this massive wheel of believing, I didn’t know…

“Why can’t someone just tell me?.”

“Why isn’t is obvious?”

“Why don’t I know what it is?”

Then come the should’s!

“I should know!”

“I should do better at knowing!”

“I should be better!”

I am sure you can all figure out the rest.

Often times, the very thing that you want or need to know most about yourself, is staring you in the face, you just can’t seem to see it!

Or can you?

Does fear stop you from knowing, what you already know?

Maybe, if you just sat back and stopped trying so hard, then the very question that you want to be answered, will be answered-all the wisdom, insights and inspirational message’s will come flooding through and then, you can choose to align with your purpose (or not).

Day 31 of lock down.

Have an amazing Monday.

Remember… its a brand new week.

A brand new beginning.

How will you show up?

Babamail

©All Rights Reserved – The boy in the chip shop 2019-20

Vulnerability

The Jackdaw visits several times a day and is getting a little closer each time.

The garden is looking dismal, having been drenched in yesterday’s rain and yet still, has so much joy to express.

29th day of lock down.

I have a personal page and what I refer to as my work page, on Facebook and this morning, I wrote about my experience at the supermarket yesterday. If anyone interested here is the link;

https://www.facebook.com/Iammichelledenness/

I know that there is still a part of me that holds back from saying what I really want to say, on that particular platform and I think that it’s a much younger part, working super hard to believe in herself.

At the beginning of this new way of living and in a moment of fearlessness, I posted the link to this blog and then sat back and sunk for a while after pressing the button.

Well of course I did!!!!

I originally made a deal with myself that I wouldn’t share my personal story with people that I knew, until I had written at least one hundred posts, not knowing how long it would take me to write a mere forty posts!

I guess things change.

My passion for people and helping them to live their best version of themselves is insurmountable. I really do believe that you can change your life around, no matter what you are faced with and at any given time.

Make the decision, take the necessary action and add in a whole lot of consistency. Most importantly, the key factor being, that if you WANT TO CHANGE enough, then you will follow through.

Since posting the link, I have felt a little naked-anyone reading it will see me in a different light and I wonder what judgement’s (if any) have been made?

I am reminded of a well known quote by Dr Wayne Dyer who said; “Be independent of the good opinions of others”

It’s time to rise up for me and for any other person that has allowed fear to screw them over because, to have courage when faced with adversity of any kind, simply means you showed up.

Pinterest.com

If telling my truth allows others to feel brave enough to show up too, then I can rest easy at night knowing that I have done my best to help another.

Good people of the world, I hope that you are having the best day that you can have whilst living through a lock down day. If not, change your state RIGHT NOW and dance the crazy dance.

vectorstock.com

After all… aren’t we all a little crazy.

©All Rights Reserved – The boy in the chip shop 2019-20

Task 1 – Daily Challenge

I thought that I would share something different today.

My friend Katie, a local artist, came up with the idea of a daily challenge for us both. She chooses something for me and I do the same for her which may be a word, picture or anything to be get creative with.

Something fun to focus on.

So yesterday I gave Kate the word Logophile (you will have to look it up) and this is her creation.

I love the way that she has taken the words from two beautiful and powerful poems. One by Maya Angelou, the other, Robert Frost and then created a tree.

Artist – Katie Hobbs 2020

Katie gave me the poem A Poison Apple by William Blake, to work with and I played around with the concept to create my own version.

A Poison Apple

I was angry with my friend; 
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe: 
I told it not, my wrath did grow. 

And I watered it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears: 
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles. 

And it grew both day and night. 
Till it bore an apple bright. 
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine. 

And into my garden stole, 
When the night had veiled the pole; 
In the morning glad I see; 
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.

Death to Love
 
He knew such love some time ago
a woven pattern of belonging
in all essence the enviable bond
but broken with dishonest approach
 
He could not see through mighty rage
a mind sickened with discoloured thinking
Love shed its skin and greeted his new ally
with such welcomed revenge
 
The devious plan and rage grew, rising up
to slaughter with swallowing evil
 
Such darkened dreams a restless night
the new day dawns, shadowed with grief
As rage retreats and sorrow prevails
For a life once loved, now lost

Its great for your mental health and well being, to enjoy a challenge whilst on this lock down journey and here is something for you too, if you are at all interested?

A brilliant watch, especially in this current climate.

On a sadder note, today I have struggled with a sore head due to having a few glasses of wine last night as we toasted the life of an old friend Russ. We grew up on the same housing estate as kids and he sadly passed away yesterday morning due to contracting the Coronavirus.

Russ was a great and funny man and will be missed by many.

We must not become complacent with life and remain strong in our belief that this is a temporary situation.

Change will come…

 ©All Rights Reserved – The boy in the chip shop 2019-20

We Are Enough

On waking, just for a second or two, I forgot what kind of world I was waking up to…

I live on a tiny Island that sits right at the bottom of the Uk with a last recorded population in 2018 of 141,538.

Image result for isle of wight aerial view whole island
https://iwradio.co.uk/2017/11/30/fewer-visitors-to-the-isle-of-wight-in-2017/

From an early age I have wanted to leave this place and move as far away as I could and now, being fully aware of my running away strategy, it’s the safest place I could possibly be.

For the first time in my life, I’ve stopped running and it’s quite remarkable. I’ve let go of all expectations and am immersed in trusting this whole magnificent process.

After all… there’s nowhere to run.

The challenge of lock down can offer you so many beautiful things if you just stop pushing yourselves to do more, be more, give more and of course, have more.

I know that I am enough.

I know that you are enough.

Everything that you have experienced within your life up until this very moment, had to happen for you. Yes, even the shittiest, most painful, destructive experiences etc… it was all mean’t to happen in order for you to grow, evolve and learn.

Life has and always will be, happening for you, not to you.

During my early morning walk, I felt such an overwhelming privilege and joy to be alive. My years of using food to numb out the unbearable pain that I was carrying, has taken its toll on my physical body and each step brings a certain amount of discomfort. I am now strong in the knowledge of knowing that I am choosing health over punishment.

I am, my own work in progress and it feels good.

When you name it… you can move through it.

You see, its much easier to stay in pain and discomfort than it is to do the necessary work and change-comfortably uncomfortable.

I’ve been in that place for many years and now I choose to make one small daily change towards healing.

I laid in the bath last night and finished off a book that I started reading about six months ago. I had about twenty pages to read in order to complete it and that which I needed to learn most, was within those last few pages.

The lessons come to you, when you least expect it.

Are you ready to commit to changing something that no longer serves you?

google.com

© All Rights Reserved -The boy in the chip shop 2019-20

‘Aha’

I can’t help but believe that this current world pandemic had to happen in order for the world collectively, to learn so many lessons.

Saying that, does not in any way dismiss the pain that hundreds and thousands of families are going through right now. That is never my intention.

My heart goes out to all of the victims of this terrible virus.

If I take my own personal life situation as it was two and a half weeks ago, before we went into lock down, it pretty much was a mess.

From the outside, I may have portrayed that everything was okay, planning my new life in France, seemingly getting excited at the prospect of what was to come, yet on the inside, it was all so very different. The truth of the matter is, I’ve been playing out my age old pattern of running and this time, to my brother in France.

He will always offer me a safe place.

I was completely overwhelmed.

I had pushed myself mentally to the brink of very nearly no return.

Physically, my body was in pain.

Financially, I was being squeezed in every direction.

My poor husband, bless him, was so unhappy having to go away every week to work in a physically demanding construction job, just to make ends meet.

At 54, its a young mans job.

I felt like my world was falling apart around me and I was holding on for dear life.

Today… none of that matters in fact, we are at an incredible turning point in our lives and are so very grateful for our ‘mess’ to be able to wake up to what’s important.

I couldn’t see it clearly before lock down, even though I knew it, on some deep level of my being and now, we both feel incredibly peaceful and it’s quite bizarre.

Both of us have spent years punishing ourselves for the financial situation we created and dragging our kids through it too. We bought and sold a few houses when our children were young, trying to climb the ladder of ‘you always want more’ until one day it all went bang-the recession hit and we were offered a financial way out-we took it.

It was the wrong way (or was it?). If only we’d gone in another direction, life could have been so very different!

Hindsight is a beautiful thing.

There is always choice.

There will always been lessons.

We have spent years trudging through our own self developed shit storm and lived and breathed failure.

And… I had the skills to change our situation right?

We all have the resources inside of ourselves to make the necessary changes that we desire. We really do and yet somehow we chose a difficult path for lessons that still needed to be learn’t.

I can remember times when I would empty my purse out on the table and with the meager amount of coins in front of me, I would have to make a decision whether to buy bread or milk because I didn’t have enough for both.

And yet I would see clients and charge them a small fee or nothing at all if they really couldn’t afford to pay me because they needed my help and that was the right thing to do?

I rescue people.

My close friends knew we were struggling and I’m sure became fed up with the same old excuses that I would give;

”Sorry we won’t be able make it tonight, I can’t really justify spending money when we are trying to be careful.”

”I don’t feel too great so I’m going to give it a miss tonight, maybe next time..”

”You won’t even miss me being there, have fun”

”I don’t do going out anymore, its really not my thing!”

”I can’t afford it.”

and eventually, they stopped asking us out!!

I have lived with feeling ashamed for as far back as I can remember in one way or another and I wonder now, whose shame I learn’t to carry from a very early age?

http://www.google.com

You are all capable of change.

Where ever you are in your life right now this Covid-19 experience has actually opened a space in your time, to take time to re-evaluate;

What’s really important for you?

What does life look like for you right now?

Are you living the kind of life that you want to be living?

Are you happy?

Do you feel fulfilled?

Are you healthy?

What do you desire most?

What changes can you make right now that will change the direction of your life?

I will repeat this statement again;

YOU ARE A GIFT TO THIS WORLD so stop looking on the outside for self validation.

Everything you need is already within you.

joshloe.com

I’ve spent years waiting for that Oprah Winfrey ‘aha moment’ which is a moment of sudden inspiration, insight, recognition or comprehension. It’s when things happen to make you look at life in a completely different way.

I think I got my ‘aha‘!

I believe that Covid-19 is a world ‘aha moment’ from which we all need to make significant changes to heal our planet and ourselves.

I am truly grateful for my own life story for it happened for me to allow personal growth.

Right now today, we are worse off financially that we have ever been because we have been made STOP and stay home and yet we both feel so very blessed to be alive, feel peaceful and are trusting that some how… its all going to be okay.

From my home to yours I send love and light.

Stay at home

Stay safe

Save lives

© Rights Reserved – The boy in the chip shop 2019-20